


Sugar Hype!

by Painful_Panda



Category: Eddsworld - All Media Types, Homestuck, MS Paint Fan Adventures, Shitposting Hell
Genre: Also Popee the Performer music plays loudly, An Au? Whatever., Behavior is not accurate, Candy Cult, Candy Hype, Dog killing, Edd is always angry af, Edd really likes the Heathers, Erotic Harry Potter fanfiction, Extreme yelling, I don't speak croissant, I was pretty freaking bored, JuJu Sucker, M/M, Matt has a motherly side, Multi, My friend will be upset when she sees this, OMG they actually curse, Playing hide and seek but it gets scary, Really bad group singing, Ringo is shook, Sloppy Makeouts, Tom is a cutie, Tord can't fucking think quietly, Trickster Mode, Worshipping Leafy like a boss, bare with me., implied sex, references to other fandoms - Freeform, zombies too
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-30
Updated: 2017-08-10
Packaged: 2018-12-08 22:18:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 16
Words: 3,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11655846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Painful_Panda/pseuds/Painful_Panda
Summary: Tord goes adventuring and finds a big trippy-ass green and red lollipop. He makes the mistake of licking it.(First Eddsworld fic??? Idk why I do this.)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Tord POV.
> 
> Enjoy my shit.

He would usually be too lazy or to busy to go exploring for scraps of metal for his giant robot.

 

But it wasn't about that, this time. A weird thing fell out of the sky, and he was determined to find it. Why? Curiosity. It might be a weapon from space, that he can use to take over the world. It'll be perfect. So, he packed some equipment.

 

"Hey Tord, where are you going?" Edd asks, usually cracking  ~~a cold one with the boys~~ a cola, not sharing it because he's a prick.

 

"Out."

 

Edd raised an eyebrow before turning away, "Yeah okay, be back before lunch. We're not waiting for you this time."

 

Tord rolls his eyes and leaves immediately, getting his bike from the back of the house and hopping onto it. Using the car would be a waste of gas. Plus, he had a bad reputation among the people at the gas station.

 

Three miles.

 

Two miles.

 

One mile.

 

Here it is.

 

Far away from the neighborhood. 

 

Whatever it was, it left a crater in the ground. How lovely. It's not very deep, thankfully. He slides down, getting his backpack ready for whatever was down there.

 

 

....

 

"What a disappointment." He mumbled, grabbing the gigantic red and green lollipop, perfectly wrapped with a red ribbon.

 

Upset that he had wasted his time, he shoved it in his backpack, and crawled out. He wasn't going to return home empty handed. Lollipop or not a lollipop.

 

 

 

 

 

Lollipops are gross.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Minor time skip.
> 
> Still in Tord's POV.

Grounded. Just because he couldn't keep an opinion to himself.

 

"I don't want you to leave your room until you apologize!" Edd yells, slamming the attic door closed.

 

Like hell he was going to apologize to the pineapple freak. Stupid Tom.

 

"I'd rather die!"

 

A few hours were boring. He plays games on his phone.

 

But, he REALLY needed to eat. 

 

"Oh, for fucks sake!" He hissed, rolling in his bed covers. He rolls a bit too much, and rolls off the bed. There was a backpack under it. Tord grabs it and looks inside it, finding a big, brightly colored lollipop inside.  _"Eww."_ He thought.

 

It's food.

 

He sighs before unwrapping it, and smelling it. Not bad, smells pretty SWELL.

 

Without a second thought, he licked it. Lime... Cherry... Oh wait, he's blacking out.

 

 

 

_What the fuck is happening._


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now it's Tom's POV.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Every time you see the word lollipop, take a shot. XD

"Matt and I are going to get lunch. You wanna come?" Edd asks, wearing one of Matt's jackets.

 

"Nah. You're idea of lunch is pretty... Sad."

 

"Well I'M sorry that I ate the pineapple in the fridge."

 

Tom lifts his gaze from his book to look at Edd.

 

"Fuck it, let's go."

 

-SLAM-

 

Assholes. Honestly, what ever happened to their friendship? 

 

Back to the book.

 

_Mrs. Dursley had had a nice, normal day. She told him over dinner all about Mrs. Next Door's problems with her daughter and how Dudley had learned a new word ("Won't!")_

 

There was a loud crash from the attic. Tom curses as he slams the book shut without bookmarking. He looks up the steps.

 

"Hey Commie, you better knock it off!"

 

....

 

Silence. Thank god. 

 

....

 

"HEY TOMMY!!!" That same annoying voice yelled from behind.

 

"WHAT THE F-" Tom screams looking behind to see Tord.

 

Wait. What the fuck. 

 

"Tord?!"

 

"Yes, that's me~!"

 

"What the fuck are you wearing?"

 

"Wearing what? I've ALWAYS WORE THIS!!!!"

 

Smiley face lollipops were stuck in his red hair, his patch was gone, only to be replace with red swirls on his cheeks. His hood had a sunshine, rainbows, with small lollipop designs on his sleeves. He floating with a giant lollipop in hand, and giving the biggest smile he could.

 

"... What. The. Fuck."

 

"Do you like it?! I love it!! It makes me SOOOOOO happy!!!"

 

God, this is scaring the living shit out of Tom.

 

"What the hell happened to you?"

 

"That doesn't matter! I need to talk to you about something IMPOOOOOORTANT!!!"

 

"..."

 

"I'm sorry."

 

"You're sorry?"

 

"For being such a bum! I was so mad, I probably would've hurt you!"

 

"... H-Hahah... T-That's okay..."

 

"But guess what? I LIKE YOU!!!!" Tord said before pulling Tom into a passionate kiss.

 

...

 

A flash of colors swirled, as the worries and stress, suddenly didn't seem to exist anymore. 

 

"You... Like me, huh?"

 

"Yes! I do! So much!!"

 

"Well that's a shame. I don't like you..."

 

"..."

 

"I LOVE YOOOU~!!" 

 

"OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU TOO, TOMMY!!!!!"

 

Two pineapples stick in his hair, his hood consists of golden yellow and green. To top it off, the spikey green hair and flashing, colorful eyes that replaced his dull, black ones.

 

Tom picks up Tord and swings him around, "Let's get married, and have cute babies together!!"

 

"How many babies?!" Tord giggled, holding onto Tom.

 

"A MILLION BABIES!!!" Tom squealed.

 

"YAY!!!!! LETS GO TELL EDD!!!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What have I done.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edd's POV???

"What is it this time, I've told you I could give less of a shit about your nuclear bullshit." Edd growls, almost about to hang up.

 

"It's Jon." Um. He sounds a bit worried. This is bad.

 

Edd stops, "Oh, what seems to be the problem?" 

 

"Who's in in your house?"

 

"Tom and Tord. Why? Are they fighting?"

 

"No. But I think you might need to go see for yourself."

 

"What? Jon, I-"

 

He hung up.

 

"For fucks sake."

 

"What is it, Edd?" Matt asks, handling the greasy fast food in bags.

 

"Tom and Tord are making the neighbors worried. That's not good."

 

"Oh no!" Matt wheezed, almost dropping the bags.

 

"Just get in the car."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hentai


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt's POV??

Edd steps on the gas, driving the shit out of his car.

 

"Slow down!" Matt screamed, covering his eyes.

 

"No time! I gotta catch these fuckers in the act!"

 

"You see them fight everyday! What are you trying to say?"

 

"Fuck you."

 

Matt looked dejected, "Okay..."

 

Halfway to the house, and everyone can tell something's wrong.

 

"What happened to the house?!"

 

The house was covered in weird colorful goo, candies sprawled everywhere on the ground, and... is the grass blue??

 

Tom and Tord were tossing Ringo, playing catch with it and floating to different angles. 

 

Edd unlocks the door and ran to the two brightly colored boys, forgetting to close the door. Matt takes his time and walks to his superior.

 

"Hey! You two! Put the cat down and come here!"

 

The giggling boys stopped, dropping Ringo. They slowly turn their heads and give an evil glare.

 

"... U-Umm... What the hell do you both think you're doing?"

 

Tom blinks slowly before getting the fuck out of there.

 

"TOM! GET BACK- Ah fuck it. Tord!"

 

"Yes, My Edd~?" The smiling idiot came forth.

 

"What are you doing?! What are you wearing?! What did you do to the house?!"

 

"I'm just celebrating my new relationship with my NEW BOYFRIEND!!!"

 

"Oh my god," Edd gagged, "Why are we even friends?"

 

"I have a great idea! Why don't you lick this?" Tord chirped, shoving a big green and red lollipop in Edd's face.

 

"Yeah... Thanks, but no thanks." He seemed pretty tempted yo lick it, despite refusing.

 

"Aww, but you'll be missing out on all the fun!"

 

Matt made a run for it, but out of nowhere Tom runs after him with Susan. When he got close enough...

 

Tom swings Susan and bashes Matt's skull.

 

"Matt-!"


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edd's POV

He swore he saw Matt's blood pour on the ground.

 

But when his entire body went down...

 

A big purple cloud of smoke, puffed out of no where.

 

Edd tried to run to Matt, but Tord beat him to it.

 

"Matt...?" Edd croaked, looking over Tord's big horn-like hair.

 

"Wow Mattie! I didn't realize how good you look in brown!!" Tom says, hugging the now broken Susan.

 

Edd looked in fear as the cloud cleared. Brown coat, cream colored hoodie, purple bowtie, buttons and hair, along with a gingerbread man peeking from his hair. Matt paused before reacting to himself.

 

"I AAAALWAYS look good!" He squeals, twirling around, "And you look good, OH MY GOSH and you too, Tordle!"

 

They all giggled together, then turn their heads to the one that wasn't giggling with them.

 

And now it's Edd's turn.

 

"No. You're all fucking crazy if you think I'm joining your little candy cult-!"

 

"Aww come on, Cola Cutie!!

 

"But Eddie! It's not the same without you!!! We need a leader after all~!"

 

"I've never felt so great before," Matt confessed, his tone was a bit different than the other two, "I want to be happy with you!"

 

_Nonono... He's trying to trick you._

 

With flushed cheeks, he still refused and ran off.

 

"Hmm," Tord thought loudly, "If he wants to play hide and seek, we'll play hide and seek. Come on, to the count of twenty!"

 

Edd knocks desperately on Eduardo's door.

 

....

 

-Click-

 

Edd lets himself in, then locks the door. He's surprised that the house was empty, until he realized they were hiding around the house.

 

"Over here," Jon whispers from under the table.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I'm kinda busy drawing out designs for Trickster!Edd.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I needed to change the POV to second person, third person is not my strongest point.
> 
> Matt POV by the way.
> 
> Enjoy.

"Why don't you go find him by yourself? Besides, it's cheating if three of us are it!" Tord pointed out, grabbing Tom's hand.

 

"YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY, SUGARY RIGHT! But what about you two?!" 

 

"We'll wait for you on the roof! Oh, and I might make out with him! Oopsie, I just spoiled the surprise!"

 

Tom and Tord giggled, and soon you joined in.

 

"Here's a little treat for him when you're done!" Tord hands you the red and green lollipop. Then, flew off to the house next-door.

 

You politely knock on the door. 

 

No answer.

 

"Eddie~? Open up! I know you're in there!!!"

 

Impatient, you used the lollipop to break the door down. Hey, the lolly is still in one piece!

 

"Eddie?! My little vanilla, where are you~? I wonder what flavor you'd look like! Maybe cola! I know how much you love cola....!"

 

You hit a few things with your lollipop, trying to get a reaction.

 

"You know, you're really starting to make me cry. I really love you, and MAYBE.... JUST MAYBE... We could be happy together!" You open a curtain, and let the sun shine in.

 

"I wonder where the neighbors are!" You're getting desperate at this moment, "Oh here they are!"

 

_-Gasp!-_

 

Striking like thunder, you ran straight to the table and flipped it over.

 

It's just Jon. He shakes when your eyes met his.

 

"Where could Edd be...?"

 

In the corner of your eye, the color green flashed. Letting the lollipop float, you summon a gingerbread house out of thin air and sneaked up to Edd. He sees your shadow and freezes, too scared to look back.

 

With mad hunger, you violently smash the gingerbread house into his head.

 

Green smoke puffed immediately, as you hear a cackle of an old, now sugar frenzied friend.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I officially don't fucking care.

"Whoa," Edd giggled as he brushes the gingerbread crumbs out of his hair, "That was fun! Let's play again!"

 

You never knew how cute Edd's smile was. He wore mostly white and green and had sour candy designs on his hood. Aww, he had a gummy worm scarf.

 

"You look amazing! Like, Tordle amazing!"

 

"Aww shucks, you flatter me! Let's be happy together, just like you promised!"

 

You nod, and grab the floating lollipop.

 

"EEE!!!!! Can I have it?!" Edd gasped as he gazes at the lollipop.

 

"Of course you can!"

 

You hand him the lollipop, and he gives it a lick.

 

He grabs you by the hoodie and lets his lips meet yours, using the gigantic sucker to somewhat censor it, to a crowd that didn't exist.

 

"Let's go play catch, with Ringo!"

 

"YAY!"

 

He crashes through a window and flies away, while you follow him from behind. 

 

"Seems like you two have been having fun!" Edd laughed as he hovers above Tom and Tord, who seemed to be in the middle of a sloppy kissing session, "Don't get your dick too hard, we've got some games to _play_!"


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What the fuck am I doing?
> 
> People are going to hate me now.

"Hey Sweetie," Edd chirps, looking down from the roof, "You wanna see something cool?"

 

"Of course, my vanilla!" You respond back, swinging your legs over the edge.

 

Edd looks around for Ringo, while Tom and Tord play tag and slip on the blue grass, that was covered in sugary, colorful goo.

 

"Hmm. I guess he ran off. Party pooper."

 

...

 

He then noticed a dog, licking at the goo on the lawn.

 

"Perfect." He said, with an almost sinister tone. He floats to it.

 

"Hey there, aren't you a pretty dog?"

 

It was a cute, small pup, somehow had thick eyebrows. It barked playfully and wagged it's tail, happy to meet him.

 

_Aww..._

 

Edd lures the dog a bit closer to the house, and tossed it a piece of chocolate. Oh, you know what his intentions are.

 

"Now stay..." He cooed, before spinning his lollipop and using it to aggressively hit the dog. It whines loudly in pain, before exploding, blood and candy flew everywhere.

 

You meet up with your vanilla. "That was so COOOOOOOOL~!"

 

"That would've been enjoyable, but you JUST killed Paul's dog! Hahahah-" Tord giggled, despite whatever the fuck he just said.

 

Edd still licks his blood-covered lollipop, "Let's just hope we don't run into him!"

 

"Yeah!"

 

"Totally."

 

".... I bet I can gobble up more dog candy than you, Tommy!"

 

"CHALLENGE ACCEPTED, SUNSHINE!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Where's my noose.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wtf is this mess
> 
> I can't write smut or whatever
> 
> Whyyyyyy

_Hello, my candy coated darling, it's your vanilla baby. I've come to say I love you and I always have!_

 

The day got darker as it ascended to night. You talked to Edd, sharing a big pile of candy with him.

 

"So, what should we do?" You ask, munching on chocolate dog candy.

 

"We're boyfriends, right? Let's do things that boyfriends do!"

 

_I find it so amusing, I used to be confused and  
afraid that you would never love me back!_

 

"Right! What do boyfriends do, again?"

 

"Hmm, we can go on a date! Or just stay here and talk. OR-"

 

_But now I see that we were always meant to be,  
you and me forever planting lots of family trees!_

 

"We can cuddle!"

 

"I have absolutely no idea how to do that!" You whined, flicking a wrapper away.

 

"I can teach you! I think..."

 

"Sounds exciting! Can't wait!"

 

He crawls over to you, dropping his lollipop. You're up against the walls of the chimney, he's inches away from your face, before he comes in for a kiss. You put your arms on his shoulders, and he pulls away, only to plant more kisses all over your face.

 

"Agh, give me a second. I almost fell a different direction..."

 

"Edd, what are you-"

 

He brushed your arms off his shoulders, and positioned himself onto your lap. Your face got warm as he looked at you with his swirly bright green eyes. You let him kiss your face, until he slowly worked his way down to your neck, kissing and sucking until he left marks. He can hear you moan softly, and tries to take it to the next level.

 

_Counting out our children, half a zillion at least!_

 

"Do you want to see what I've learned from Tord's magazines?"

 

_We'll name the boys for you,_

 

"Of course, vanilla." You responded, gasping at cold hands touching you from under your hoodie.

 

_And we will name the girls for me!_

 


	11. Chapter 11

"You know, you taste lot like Christmas."

 

"Shoosh." You hissed, putting a finger to your lips.

 

Edd still gives you a big smile, his legs swing off the edge of the roof. It's dark, Tom and Tord passed out on the lawn, hugging each other as they slept soundly. You know that this sugar rush couldn't last forever, you were slowing down, reality was settling in, slowly.

 

"Do you think we can still date after this?"

 

"Of course. Unless you screaming how much you love me was just the candy talking."

 

You grabbed the sucker. 

 

"Keep it. Who knows, maybe we can do this again someday!"

 

You nod, flying down from the roof, and going inside the house. You take the lollipop and hide it.

 

"Wanna sleep in my room?" Edd asked, his head was poking out the doorway.

 

"Alright. What about Tom and Tord?"

 

"... They'll be fine."

 

With a small snort, you grabbed Edd's hand, and left for his room. He rolled onto his side, while you took in the space he left.

 

"I love you~"

 

"Love you too, vanilla." 

 

It takes a while, but the sweet taste slowly fades away, as you shut down, and sleep.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AM I DONE
> 
> no
> 
> sadly

"Matt, what the _fuck_ are you doing in my bed?" Edd groaned, kicking you awake.

 

"Hhhh-mm? Oh, you invited me."

 

"Why would I do that...?"

 

"I don't know?"

 

"Then get out."

 

You grumbled, getting up and walking out to your room.

 

"Gaaaaaaaaaaaah- Get your hands off me!" It sounds like Tord.

 

Loud shuffling...

 

-SLAM-

 

"Let me in first, Mr. SUNSHINE AND LOLLIPOPS." Tom hissed, only getting a swift slap in return.

 

"Don't even start."

 

"Hey you two," You greeted, "Sleep well outside?"

 

"NO. I was hugging this asshole. Did you know, he talks in his sleep?"

 

"Shut up." Tord growled.

 

You just rolled your eyes, "... Well, get breakfast. We've got things to catch up on."


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> gkftffkgtkgrtg
> 
> I'm dying inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who's the 40th kudo?

"So, what happened yesterday?" You asked, despite knowing the answer to that.

 

Tord sighed, shoving a cold burrito into the microwave and warming it up, "I don't even know."

 

"He KISSED me. The fucking commie KISSED me on the LIPS."

 

"Well, I AM rumored to be a GREAT kisser. Did you enjoy it, you sack of shit?"

 

You just listened, pouring yourself some milk. Honestly, you couldn't eat. One, you ate so much candy. Second, you uh...

 

"No." Tom hissed, putting his head down on the table. Just to be nice, you slid him some Smirnoff. He's always distressed, yeah. But he looked AWFUL. Even his spikey hair drooped.

 

Tom pushes the Smirnoff away, groaning in agony. Oh god, did he just REFUSE to drink it?

 

"What's wrong?" You ask.

 

"Not interested."

 

Tord just stares, looking a bit surprised himself. The microwave went off, he got his burrito and sat down next to Tom, awkwardly eating it.

 

"How's Edd?" Tord asked between mouthfuls of food. Gross.

 

"Pissed."

 

"So, he's his usually self?"

 

"Yep."

 

"Great."

 

There's an awkward silence in the room.

 

"So, yesterday..." You say suddenly.

 

"I was sunshine and lollipops..."

 

"I became Satan."

 

"... Was fun, actually. How did it even happen?"

 

"Well," Tord recalled, "I found a lollipop that fell out of the sky."

 

Tom sprang up, "Do you always eat something that falls out of the sky?"

 

"Shut up, Jehovah's Witness."

 

"Make me, cum slut."

 

"Watch it," You hissed at Tom, "That's going too far."

 

Tom simply 'rolls his eyes', "How the hell does a lollipop get you high, give you weird-ass powers, eye bleeding clothes, and explode dogs into candy?"

 

"I thought it was some kind of weapon, to help me in my rein of terror."

 

"Keep dreaming, Commie."

 

"But it COULD be used as a weapon," Tord jumped up, "I need to find it!"

 

You try to act normal, drinking your glass of milk.

 

"Matt, do you know where it is?"

 

"No." You lie, paying attention to the milk draining with every gulp.

 

"Hmm... I'll be right back."

 

Tord runs off, not finishing the now abandoned leftover burrito.

 

"Tom?"

 

Passed out.

 

What are you going to do now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, the Juju Sucker is somewhat a weapon.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I want to kms
> 
> I don't know why I keep pushing myself to make this shit.
> 
>  
> 
> It's fucking 11 pm.  
> And I'm posting t r a s h.

It's silent in the house....

 

"Tord! Can you shut the fuck up?"

 

"Edd! Can you mind your own goddamn business? I'm on the phone!"

 

Nevermind.

 

Oh boy.

 

Time to eavesdrop on your friend.

 

"Yes, yes, I understand. I did not kill your fucking dog. No, I don't know why it was dead on our yard....... Watch your fucking tone! It's not my fault you let the dog out!....."

 

Hey, isn't that funny? The person you'd least expected to kill an animal, actually slaughtered a dog.

 

Why did the dog candy taste so good. You ate that. Fucking gross. Hellish flesh and blood candy, then getting a hardcore fucking of your life. Ugh. Thank god you hidden all the candy. Who knows what could've happened if Tord got his hands on it.

 

"Tom, got to BED. We don't need your drool on the counter."

 

Still asleep.

 

"Tom."

 

...

 

"TOM."

 

....

 

"Tom, get your butt into bed."

 

.....

 

You pick Tom up and take him to his room. He ~~clings onto~~  hugs your arm and snoozes softly, like a baby.

 

Cute. Too cute. You try to settle him to bed, but he whines when you do. You're trapped, having to deal with him like a mother on her period. You just sit on his messy bed, listening to Tom's breathing. Because, hey you've got nothing else to do.

 

"TORD FOR FUCKS SAKE SHUT UP!" 

 

"GO FUCK YOURSELF!"

 

You cradled Tom, listening to Edd and Tord scream at each other. Surprisingly, your blue child hasn't reacted or woken up. You run your fingers though his hair, he purrs loudly.

 

Can he stop being an adorable little prick for one second?


	15. Chapter 15

"Matt, you piece of shit, get your ass in the kitchen and make dinner for us!"

 

Why do you keep falling asleep with your friends? Who's next, Tord?

 

You try to roll out of bed, but Tom is still holding onto your arm.

 

"MATT YOU GOOD FOR NOTHIN-" Edd stomps into your room, to find no one there, ".... Matt just make us some fucking dinner-" He finds you with a sleeping Tom.

 

"I would, but somebody wouldn't let me go. It's cute, nobody gives me this kind of attention." You pet his spikey hair, "I think he should-"

 

"Fuck. You. Make us some fucking dinner."

 

"You've got a lot of cola in the fridge, can't you get full on that?"

 

Edd looks pissed as hell, "What the fuck, NO! It doesn't work that way! Just...!"

 

Edd grabs your arm sternly, pulling you away from Tom. His grip is so hard, you're afraid he might rip your arm off. 

 

You wince loudly, Tom shot up.

 

Edd looked a bit surprised when he saw Tom awake, and pulled you out of his room.

 

"That was rude," You whined, rubbing your arm.

 

"Cook us something, you little shit." Edd growled, regaining his composure. You stand there for a long second, before the short green boy shoved you into the kitchen, insulting you in the process.

 

Why is he so abusive?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tbh 
> 
> I don't know why I make Edd so physical with his friends.
> 
> Like "hmm... Jeeze that's ooc."
> 
> Fuck, whatever.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Order me a grave, I want to die.

You rolled your eyes, turned the stove on, and got a pan. Honesty, you don't know what to cook, so you just grabbed a bag of frozen patties and used that. Because fuck, you're lazy, plus you don't even know how to cook proper meals. Cooking classes were expensive.

 

"Ugh, seriously? Blood Patties again?" Edd groans, sitting away, drinking cola.

 

You sigh, "You wanted dinner, you're going to get dinner. You'll put it in your cola-intoxicated body, and like it!"

 

He simply pouts. Not getting physical this time. Thank god.

 

"You want a potato with that?"

 

Horn-like hair pokes out of a corner.

 

"No thanks."

 

Here he comes....

 

"I'll eat the potato," Tord says, his horny hair shakes a bit, "I'd devour a potato."

 

"Tord shut the fuck up, no one cares."

 

You dump the entire bag of patties into the pan. It overflows, but that's not important. Hastily, you snatched some ketchup from the fridge and squirted it on the frozen meat. Ugggh...

 

"Where's Ringo?"

 

"Edd, I have come to the conclusion that you brutally slaughtered my slav- my friend's dog."

 

"I fucking what?"

 

"Killed. A. Dog. Yes you did, and my friend is very upset."

 

"Oh man Tord.... I didn't know you had friends."


End file.
